What if I didn't have the allergy?

 Last Friday, at 11:30 p.m., I noticed that the most searched keyword on Naver was ‘Hangzoo’. Knowing that Hangzoo was the pseudonym of a rapper, I clicked the word with curiosity. His performance, a song called ‘Red Sun’, was shocking. He composed the lyrics based on his experience of being hypnotized. During the hypnosis, he confided that he was almost blind. He lost his eyesight in left eye due to extreme stress when he failed the preliminary round of the hip-hop competition “Show Me the Money”.

His performance absorbed my attention. I concentrated on his rap, his breath, and his face expressions as I watched the video clip. The most striking part was the lyrics, which heavily moved my heart. I also had a secret that was hard to tell others: my vision became blurry after midnight.

It was because of my allergy to pollen. My eyes became dry and ached especially when I was exposed to electromagnetic wave, such as doing homework using computer. But even when I didn’t use my computer, my vision was blurry and foggy that it was sometimes hard to see clearly. Then I had to wash my eyes and spray allergy-alleviating eyedrops on them.

What if I didn’t have the allergy? I might have used my computer more frequently. I would have watched videos that I had wanted to see but couldn’t bear the pain. I would have chatted with my friends longer on Facebook. But because my eyes started to ache, I knew that I had to stop using computer. They signaled me that I was spending too much time using computer. Additionally, when I had to study after midnight, I squinted at the paper. Although I thought this was a nuisance, I actually recognized that I became a careful reader, trying not to miss any words. I took a closer look to the tiniest things. My blurry vision was rendering me to “see more clearly”.

Other problems that I had could be thought as advantages. What if I didn’t have stomachache often? Then I might have avoided the embarrassment that I felt when I had to ask teacher Mr. Kwak if I could go to the restroom during morning exercise. I could eat snacks after dinner, too. But because I had a stomachache after the day I overate, I knew I should restrict my diet. What if I didn’t have an allergic rhinitis? Its symptoms were irksome: I couldn't breathe through my nose, gasped for breath during my speech, and had a stuffy nose. When I blew my nose, I became dizzy and my eyes got itchy and dry. Even though rhinitis often disturbed me, I also learned from it. I found strategies to prevent rhinitis: cleaning my room, turning on the humidifier, and hanging wet towel on my chair. They were useful tips that I found because I had the disease. What if I didn’t have a fragile throat? When I chatter with my friend, my tonsils sometimes swell and I feel painful when I swallow food. I also had a sore throat when I prepared for the band performance, because I sang too much. But again, I found the solution. I bought a throat lozenge that mitigates sore throat by sucking it after singing. After practicing several times, I realized how many hours of practice my throat could withstand.

What if I didn’t have these qualities? I might have avoided the inconvenience and pain they entail. Nonetheless, I adapted to my attributes and overcame them. And by overcoming them, I gained confidence that I became much stronger. As Hangzoo overcame his difficulty by showing a sincere, moving performance, pain gave me courage to face higher barriers throughout life.

618 words